March Reflections

A Haiku in honor of Cole's birthday:

Sweet sixteen so soon

Girl ends as Woman begins

Joy shines bright as sun

What a month this has been. Not a traditional spring, even for Arkansas, the land of questionable weather. Hot and humid days stealing spring. Daffodils withering too soon. There have been lovely days but I do hope it will switch to a bit more spring like weather before summer arrives!

We celebrated one of our girls this month. All children are gifts, but ours tried to be specific gifts. Coley tried to be my birthday gift, Grace (daughter #2) tried to be an anniversary gift and Bitsy (daughter #3) very narrowly missed her daddy's birthday by just one day.

I had gone to eat a special Chinese dinner on my birthday, the 20th, and went home fat and happy. I awoke in the wee hours of the morning to find myself in labor at almost eight weeks early. A hospital visit and complete bedrest put things off for another 10 days until Cole was born on March 30th. How tiny she was at 5 lbs and 3 oz. So tiny yet so perfect. I can scarcely believe that she is sixteen. I feel as if these years have slipped past so quickly. Truly she cannot be the young woman that I see before me.

Thoughts of drivers licenses, the ACT test and college prep fill our conversations. Gone is the little girl who liked to say, "Silly goose!" and was afraid of grass and enchilada spiders. Before me is a young woman that, at times, flusters me with her perception and a personality beyond her years. To know that she loves the Lord and desires to serve Him is a gift. My heart aches with pride to see her gentle nature. She can bring me to tears with her songs and then tease me for crying. At times I do not quite know how to be.

She has always seemed to be a little adult, but now she is on the verge of adulthood and I am trying to reconcile the joy and pain that this brings me. Motherhood is a strange mixture of joy, guilt and hope. While you know that you have made many mistakes, you rejoice in the mercy of the Lord and His greater love for your children. To see Him work in their lives is amazing.

I could wax nostalgic all night but tomorrow will come all too soon. I had better stop before I start snubbing.

Love, laughter and tears,

Shawna